Grief: Finding \"Meaning\"​ in grief journey: Self-assessment and support system

Grief is a topic that is least talked about in our society. There is stigma associated to it in the American society as the mentality is to “suck it up” and move on with your life. The danger lies when emotions/feelings are not acknowledged, and people start to shut down on themselves and their loved ones.

As a South Asian woman, I grew up with large circle of families around me and had seen grief bringing people together.  As a child, I recall deep connections and support from your loved ones during grieving period. Ironically, this was only my perception of what grieving families looked like from the surface. My personal journey of grief left a “deep hole” inside of me. I had some cultural awakenings happen in this phase unfortunately. I deeply and completely understood what it means to keeping your cup full before you pour out and give to others. I took the leap forward to being my own best support model and seeked the necessary support in the difficult time. Thankful for some of my close friends and co-workers who were part of my journey along with a team of medical professionals who I could lean on.

Through deep self-reflections, I learned a lot more about myself. I am a highly sensitive person but that is not my weakness, it is one of my greatest strength. I am deeply empathetic person who could sense other people’s energy and wants to provide a support system for all. The more I got closer to my own knowing, greater, and new possibilities started to show up in my own life. I found my life “meaning”!

As a women’s coach, I started to inquire more on why people choose to stay in denial or deal with loss in silence? The more I spoke about this, the more I was driven to educate myself on this topic and help grieving families.

Providing here an overview of the original five stages of grief (as defined by Elizabeth Kubler Ross), and then an introduction to the sixth stage (as introduced by David Kessler who I have been deeply inspired by and continue to learn from)

1.    Denial:  initial shock

2.    Anger:  blame toward others

3.    Bargaining: form of a false hope that leads to guilt

4.    Depression: pure sadness and withdrawal from life

5.    Acceptance: learn to live with the loss

6.    Finding Meaning: learning to remember those who have died with more love than pain and learning to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones.

Do a self -assessment and see “how you are really doing”?

This is a simple guideline here but your journey, your deep emotions are all valid. If I can be of any help in hearing you out, please reach out. If I am unable to help you personally, I will be happy to connect you with more professional resources. My two cents are not to suppress but express all your deep emotions!