HEALING Journey – Isolation or Connections?

A journey that continues to show me that all things in life have a perspective.

If someone asks you to visualize a mountain, you may see a big brown triangle as an image.

For those who have lived away from mountains and never experienced seeing one, it’s still going to be a difficult task for them to see the image of a mountain. This one simple example is a reminder of how different perspectives play a dynamic role in life.

We act from our beliefs and conditionings but sometimes when life hits us hard,  we may either feel “numb” or we may sense emotions we never felt before. For me it was a mixture of both but at different times and different intensities.

People have different beliefs and perspectives about grief and I am learning to respect everyone’s choices throughout this journey.

As per the South Asian culture and societal norms, I focused to function in my survival mode. No one cares about talking out their feelings and emotions. “Good girls” especially don’t express; they work hard, provide for family and simply comply. Strangely, this realization recently came to me when I was at an all-time low period during my grief journey. I tried to function at the same fast pace as I was for the past 30 years, but it just wasn’t serving me well overall anymore. At this point, I gave myself the permission to dig a deeper and seek support.

My therapist provided me a safe space where I felt I was being heard and this helped me process all of my true emotions and feelings. Working 1-1 with a life coach also helped me have a breakthrough to self-reflect in areas of my life where I needed to heal myself fully. It didn’t matter if my support system was from same ethnic background or not, the basic human needs and Universal laws I started to learn about were the same.

Some key early learnings were:

1.      Society in large is grief illiterate

2.      Guilt, resentment, anger, fear are some emotions that show up

3.      Underneath these negative emotions is pure love for your lost one

4.      All losses deserve to be seen, heard and witnessed

5.      Understanding or explaining grief is so difficult

Anyone feeling “alone”, or “unsupported” due to a loss, I want to send you some love and know that:

1.  I see your pain and hear you

2.  It is safe to seek help

3.  You get to create your own path of healing by incorporating your mind, body and soul

4.  You will never stop missing the person you lost but you can manage the pain of the loss

5.  A connection with your deeper self can help you find meaning in your loss

If grief is tearing you apart from the inside, my story is just one example of how continuing to follow perceived norms and staying “stuck” in your limited beliefs can be detrimental to your overall wellbeing.  We are human beings so never stop “BEING”. You too can rebound back without having to worry about what will people say, or in Hindi commonly stated as “Log Kya Kahenge”?

My wish for you is to see you being kind to yourself and giving yourself permission to slow down and heal fully.